dream vacation

When we first got engaged, one of the things we immediately knew we wanted was to back pack in Europe for our honeymoon, something we had always dreamed of.  We didn't think we were the type of people to do a pre paid beach package vacation.  I mean, we had never done one before, so why start now?

Well, then wedding planning reality set it, in the form of a million billion decisions to make and plans to devise, and all sorts of other little micro manag-y things that I probably didn't need to think about but my brain wouldn't let me not.  As our big day approached, it was pretty clear that an epic European adventure honeymoon would stretch ourselves waaaaay too far.  I am just too much of an over researcher to be able to have planned both things at once, and since I struggled quite a bit with the wedding, I knew I needed to focus all my planning abilities on that event.

So, in between dress fittings, and food truck tastings,

between flower purchasing, and mason jar gatherings,

bunting sewing, and craft projecting,

we found and booked a pre packaged, pre paid, pre everything you can think of vacation to Mexico.  Our requirements were pretty simple: beach, relatively inexpensive, beautiful location.

So that's what we did, and to be perfectly honest I do not regret it one single bit.  It was what we needed after the huge whirlwind of family and friends and celebration and emotional upheaval.  It was a vacation like we had never had before, we lounged on the beach at whatever hour we happened to wake up, we drank floofy drinks with umbrellas, we sat in cabanas, had a hot tub on our private balcony.  It was pretty ridiculous, but so relaxing, and rejuvenating.

That's not to say there weren't draw backs.  When we travel we usually rent a local apartment or house, or stay right in the thick of the locale, and it was very strange to be in a resort compound with almost no interaction with any locals.  And as a GF person, I have to say most of the food was atrocious.   Like, really not good at all, but that's what happens when you have huge buffet lines for people set up at all hours of the day.  So everything was certainly not perfect by any means, and I don't know that we would ever do that type of vacation again, BUT for what we needed at the time it was perfect for us.

So, was there a point to all of this? Didn't you go on your honeymoon over a year ago?! Well....yes, and no. Here's the point.  We wanted a European backpacking adventure, realistically it just wasn't in the cards for us at that point, but we didn't give up on the idea entirely.  On our honeymoon we jokingly called it our "first honeymoon", with every intention to some day go on our "real honeymoon" in Europe.  And so we did.

Let me back up.  Remember when I quit my job recently?  Well when I was interviewing, and nail chewing, and anxiously awaiting an offer, I said to JP "hey, how about we go to Europe if I get this job?  I could just take time off in between!".  And as ridiculous as that sounds, that's actually kind of how it happened.  Things started falling into place with my new job, and when they asked me to start at the end of September I asked for an extension until the beginning of October.  Two of our close friends had just done a similar thing when she switched from the trauma team at one hospital to critical care team at another hospital. They gapped it and went to Europe for three weeks.  We decided it was now or never.  When would we have another opportunity like this? We don't have kids, or a mortgage, or huge responsibilities that can't be left for a little while, so we just did it.

And it was AMAZING.  And I am going to tell you all about it in the next few weeks, so hold on to your hats!

and life swept on

I'm not even really sure where to start.  I've been so absent here that thinking of writing again makes me feel like I am decades late for an assignment and I just want to close the book and pretend it doesn't exist.  I've done so many things since I last wrote here, tiny miniscule things, and great big adventures.  My work life changed dramatically, and I am about to fully realize that change next tomorrow.  I took time off to travel, and explore, and celebrate a year of marriage to my sweetheart.  I enjoyed summer, and visits from family and friends. It's all the things and I don't know where to start.

So let's start with the basics, what do you do for a living?  After struggling with the decision for quite sometime, and chasing down many different paths, I gave my job my two months notice. (Side note, two months?! Apparently that's standard in my industry...doesn't that seem like forever? A very long, awkward, drawn out, forever?)  I am leaving family medicine and moving to an urgent care associated with the big hospital network in my area. It's a good change in many ways, though scary, and seemingly momentous for me.  I don't particularly like change, because it takes away my control, but I think it's good to let go of that a little especially when you find that a big part of not wanting to change is just fear of the unknown. I don't want to be a person who makes choices based on fear.

Leaving family medicine was hard. I think I was finally getting it. Not the medicine, for better or worse I think I've hit some small kind of stride in that regard, but the actual field itself.  Family medicine.  It's hard because it encompasses everything, it's difficult to get new grads into because there are so many other specialties that have more prestige or more money or more something else.  But I was starting to understand some of why my dad loves this field.  I was reaching the continuity part where I had been seeing my patients for over a year, and the visits were actually more like 'check ins' instead of frantic 'trying to learn your whole medical history' visits.  I could picture faces to names now, and could tease some people when I knew I was telling them something they weren't happy to hear, because I knew they personally would appreciate it. I found family medicine difficult for many reasons, most of them bureaucratic, and too exhausting to get into.

But, I won't have to restlessly and wildly speculate for much longer as I start on Monday.  And since I've had a month off to wipe the slate clean, and find some of my old self again, I should most definitely be ready.  Right? Right.

Anyway, I'm hoping to bring writing back into my life. Writing and picture sharing.  Here's hoping I can do it.