changing

As my last few days left in Duluth trickle away this week, I thought I should catch you up to present as well as I could.  I always think that I love change, but actually when you microscope up to it, I am not so sure that I do.  I love the part of change that occurs after the chaos and the turbulence of the actual event settles out.  I love the sense of adventure after I have found my comfortable place in the new.  What I don't like is the actual changing, and what I like even less is the lead up.  When something in my life is about to change, I react by either pushing all thought of it from my mind, or pulling it very close to my heart and gripping it tightly in an effort to quickly, quickly, quickly absorb all of the parts that I might forget when it is gone or may have missed while it was here. 

I do that with all sorts of things.  When JP was getting ready to fly back to Maine the day after we arrived in Duluth, it was like there was a stream of giddy anxiety flowing from my brain.  It was as though I had to BOND with him in an important way, but also in an extremely sped up dimension of reality.  QUICKLY, LET US INTELLIGENTLY CEMENT THE FABRIC OF OUR ENTIRE LIFETIME TOGETHER, AND LET US DO THAT IN FIVE MINUTES OR LESS.  I get flighty thoughts and my heart picks up to a faster rate while I try to compensate for the inevitable loss in the balance that had previously existed.

I do the same thing when I am coming to the end of a book that I love.  My brain gets irrational and I feel like I should read each word s.o. v.e.r.y. s.l.o.w.l.y to make the book last longer, and at the same time I let my eyes flit to the bottom of the right hand page so that the fast part of my brain can know glimpses of what will s.l.o.w.l.y. be delivered to it in just a few moments.  It's like wanting to relish in a single moment while experiencing all of the moments. 

I feel like all of those things when I think about changing back to my real life in Maine.  I've been in an alter dimension of my life for the past six weeks, and this dimension has been incredibly great!  I've gotten to see a side of my parents that I have never seen before.  I am old enough now to really appreciate all that they do for me,, and really value having a long interrupted amount of time having them all to myself.  For the first time in my life, returning home meant less about the familiar teenage feelings of perceived stifled autonomy, and more about finding new ways to connect myself to these two individuals that I really don't know as well as I think I do. 

I don't know when in life people ever get to return back to their parents home for the kind of experience I was able to have, and that's unfortunate, because this visit really felt like more then the hum drum routine of life.  I feel like this was the prefect send off for the next part of my life, as the wife of my best friend.  I won't be gone, or given away, but more like how I picture things happening in an older time frame, nesting at home before I embark on this new path in my new home.

Oh sentiment.  You crazy, crazy.  So, that is all for now. 

Niagara Falls

Ever since we first got wind that we would be living out on the east coast for a few years, JP has wanted to go see Niagara Falls.  When we moved out, we saw the highway exits, but with the giant moving truck and two restless pups crammed into the cab with us, it just wasn't the time.  So, when I got the bright idea that I would need my Oliver with me during my rotation in MN (I of course couched it as easing the pet responsibilities burden on JP, but let's be real, I need my furry pup boy around as much as possible thank you!) his first thought was "we can go see niagara falls on the way!".  So it's no surprise that our first long day of driving ended in just that place.

Now, if you know my family, you know we are suckers for a good deal.  Often at the expense of the actual reality of the situation, so it should come as no surprise that the budget lodging that I had booked was a gigantic flop.  Like the worst flop in the history of flops.  I seriously can't even describe how filthy the place was, the couch, which as far as I could tell used to be a red sort of floral pattern, was literally black in places, sinking in in the middle and reeked, just REEKED of cigarette smoke.  JP tried to stop me from going in to the bathroom because the laminate was peeling off the ground in every corner and the floor itself was really water damaged.  I almost smacked my face on a completely full sticky fly paper hanging from the ceiling.  Oh. my. word.  It was the most disgusting place I have ever seen, and of course we had just paid for it.  We looked at each other and through our eyes said, nope, I would rather lose the money and pay double for some place else rather than stay even one more minute here.  Luckily the guy, after trying to pawn a different room off on us, did refund our money.  How that place even exists is a mystery.  BUT that is the story of why we didn't get to see the falls that night, we were busy frantically calling all the hotels in the area, and then accidentally booking one in canada and having to cancel that, and the finally finding one in the good old u s of a.  We decided that the falls in the morning might suit us just fine.

And suit us just fine it did.  We got there at just the right timing some how.  We found a shady spot to park the car and eventually leave Oliver, but first the three of us tromped to a side overlook away from the crowds for our first glimpse.  We knew Oliver would want to see the magnificence, can you blame him?

Next we dropped O off and headed towards the main gates.  We stopped first to get a closer look at the falls from above to see where the boat would be taking us.  We even wrangled a passer-by to take our photo.

The view was just breathtaking, and the air so full of energy.

We got our boat tickets and just happened to walk up right as the line had dwindled, so our wait time was about ten minutes.  Behind us the line quickly stretched around and around.  We used those ten minutes to goof off in our giant blue tarpcoats of course.

But in all seriousness, the boat ride was very much worth the ridiculousness of participating in a giant tourist trap.  It was so humbling to be up close to the falls and be sprayed by the crushing water.  It was beautiful and scary and thrilling and mesmorizing.  I fully recommend it. 

So then we hit the dusty trail, with wind whipped water in our hair and an exuberant, waiting pup in the back seat. 

road trippin'

I know, dear god do I know, that I haven't blogged in quite some time.  I missed an entire month!  I don't think that has ever happened since I started blogging.  And the worst part is that I actually have things to share!  Lots of road tripping pictures, and visits from both of my brothers, and vacation pictures and first day of work picnic lunch pictures, and wedding dress shopping pictures, and extended family from Iowa visit pictures!  I've been busy, busy, and between you and me, living back at my parents home has made me kind of feel like I am on perpetual vacation.  I get too distracted by how much fun it is to be home with them, and see them bonding so well with my puppy boy, and showing him all these new places to explore, and in general feeling like this isn't my real life.  Thus, I haven't done much in terms of tangible productivity at all! No studying.  No blogging,  No cooking or cleaning.  I guess I have done some laundry, but it kind of doesn't count because I forgot how glorious it is to have a washer and dryer in your own home.  Holy freedom!  Number one top purchase with my first pay check (even though the entire thing will basically be negative money because of loans) should be a washer and dryer.  Even if I don't have a home, cause right now I kind of feel like a queen.

Ok, so first up, the road trip seems like an appropriate place to start.  I mean, especially considering that it is the actual start.  We plotted out our route, most important stops included seeing Emily in Massachusetts, going to Niagara Falls and stopping in Cleveland to visit my cousin Eileen.

Quickest visit to North Hampton ever, we drove out after JP finished work for the day, and arrived around 11:00.  We promptly realized we were exhausted, but we powered through amazing nachos that were waiting for our arrival.  Some one had to do it!  I asked Emily to be my Best Woman in the wedding, and she happily agreed.  Morning came quickly and we shoved more delicious food into our bodies.  I love that my family always knows the perfect places to eat in every town they have occupied.  TASTY.

Quick, super duper quick, stop in Cleveland for rice bowls and catch up time with one of my favorite cousins!  She is an RN who works in the NICU and is in NP school, how's that for some acronyms!  We had a lot to commiserate about, and a lot of missed time to catch up on, if only we could have stayed longer!

We actually changed course halfway through our trip and veered sharply north through the Upper Peninsula of Michigan near where my family used to live.  That was a pretty great decision too, the roads were small and not congesty, and there was so much nature to take in!   Plus we had the joy of staying at a beautiful cabin in a remote part of Michigan, my parents drove out so they could get some time with the two of us before JP's early flight out, it was lovely!

Mackinac Bridge connecting the upper and lower peninsulas

 

Oliver chased nine deer across this field, and had the thrill of his young life!

I've got a pile of Niagara Falls pictures, so I shall parse them out of this post and into another.  For now, just know that the road trip was great, and from this vantage point it seems like a long time ago.  Hopefully soon I shall regale you with tales from my current rotation in family medicine, and catch you up to the present day adventure.  I am having a ball!