week four

Phew.  I can't believe I have already finished my fourth week of school.  Four down, six to go!  This weekend I am once again studying for a neuro and anatomy exam that will be on Monday.  We do three lecture/labs of both neurology and gross anatomy one every Monday and one every Thursday and then an exam on the fourth class session, so after this one we only have two left.  That's a little terrifying, but also a relief.  They cram an obscene amount of information into the three times that we meet, but I finally feel as if I am hitting some sort of stride!  I know how to prep for lab so I can use the three hours of class time to my advantage, and I am learning how to change they way that I approach exams so that I can learn high yield information first and lower yield things after that.  Who knew that was an approach to studying?!  In undergrad you just study it all and it's good, here there is far too much information so you have to triage the things that are most important and the things that will give you the largest yield of recall during the exam.  It's funny how humbling this experience can be, and they told us during orientation that if your approach isn't working that you better change it right away.  That's what I have been doing this week, putting the muscles into compartments with their corresponding nerve, artery, and vein.  Sounds like fun, doesn't it?  Haaaa, and this is what my life is like now. 

Last weekend I did do something fun though, it was an ender to all of my study time and we took the dogs to the beach Sunday night.  They can be off leash during the summer from 7-9 am/pm, and both Oliver and Yin just love it.  There is always some high energy pup for Oliver to run with and chase, and Yin even gets in on the action too!  After another full day of exam prep tomorrow we are planning a break there to end another weekend.  See?  Sometimes I get to appreciate being in Maine!  And in just a few weeks my parents are coming out to visit!  I probably won't see them much, but they will be here.  For me, meals are the best time to squeeze in face to face time with people because I have to eat at some point every day, and luckily my family are experts at making some of the best food I have ever had!!  Mmmm study breaks...

week three

Describing PA school to people who have never done it is a very hard thing to do.  I think that I thought I knew what it would be like, and that that is probably similar to how people think it is for me.  What I mean to say is that when I was applying and researching schools and reading blogs and forums about every little detail of the process, I gathered that PA school would be hard.  Of course it would be, it is a bunch of information and it's presented in a short amount of time.  When I thought about condensing four years of medical school into two years it sounded like every minute would be jam packed with a crazy amount of information and requirements.  Thinking about it in theory though is far different then how it actually feels.  I suppose that is true for many things, but maybe what I mean is that probably you can't ever be as prepared as you should be for something like this because it is not possible to understand unless you are already doing it.  Am I making sense?  The reason I bring this up is because I was trying to describe to my sister how school has been going for me, and here is what came spewing from my mouth. 

Take immunology for example.  This entire course is presented to us in five 2-hour lectures.  All of it.  All of the immunology that I have never seen but will be required to have a very detailed understanding of.  I think if this was all that was going on, it would still be difficult but passing would be probably be attainable.  Unfortunately that is not the case.  For virology, (which we are also in the middle of) we get three 2-hour lectures and one 1-hour lecture for the entire subject.  All of it.  This also applies to cell physiology, bacteriology/mycology and parasitology.  Yiiiikes!  For each of these we have one exam which is worth 20% of our biological sciences grade.  Holy effing Moly.  But, you know what?  I think for that exact reason you can only take it one day at a time.  Is it kind of sad that I look forward to the weekend immensely because during that time I will have 48 whole hours worth of potential studying time that will not be interrupted by the presentation of any new information?  Yes, but I am moving forward one day at a time and that's pretty good for right now.

Last week I was really overwhelmed after taking my first exams (Neuro/Anatomy/Anatomy practical) which by the way I did pass (WOOOOHOOOO!.....ahem), and JP said to me "well, when you finished your first week of bike & build how did you feel?"  When I thought about it, I realized that I felt very similar to how I am feeling now.  I was overwhelmed, exhausted, physically and emotionally spent, full of doubt in myself and my ability to actually see this thing to the end.  It was a new experience and it was really, really, really, HARD.  Every morning I woke up early, got back on that bike and biked.  I'm not saying I didn't complain or cry or feel like giving up, because I did all of those things, sometimes within the span of just an hour, but I never gave up.  So much of this experience reminds me of bike & build which seems amazing because in so many ways they are completely different.  It gives me a tremendous feeling of gratitude for that group of people and that experience, and for the group I am with right now.  Life is pretty great, isn't it?

done, but not really

OK, I am officially done studying for my exams tomorrow. NO MORE I say!! I logged 12 hours in the lab outside of class time and some ridiculous number, that I don't have the brain power to calculate right now, outside the lab.  This weekend alone I studied for 11 hours each day.  11 hours, and you know what?  I don't even know it all!!  I know I did the absolute most that I could and I actually feel pretty prepared, but it is such a weird feeling to put in that much effort and still know that you didn't learn everything.  Ohhh my undergrad days are certainly over, but that's okay because I have learned so much in just these past two weeks and there were so many moments when all the pieces of knowledge in my brain gelled together and I really felt empowered!  Ha!  That is such a nerdy thing to think, but it's true!  In any case, just thought I would check in and share a random piece of information with you that I thought was cool:

One way to check for a possible fracture or dislocation is by using the Hueter line and Hueter triangle.  Turn your arm so the palm of your hand is facing out.   Place your thumb and middle finger on the back part of your elbow on either side (the lateral and medial epicondyles of the humerus), and your index finger on the bony process that is sticks out when bent (the olecranon of the ulna).  Your fingers should form an equilateral triangle when bent (flexed) and a line when straightened (extended).  If they don't, and the shape of the triangle is altered, it is an indication of a fracture or dislocation.  Isn't that cool?

a box of arms

Well folks.....well.  After running into a friend in the grocery store and surrealistically thinking about our conversation from some distant point in my brain while that conversation was actually occurring, I realized that I might not be fit for public interactions any longer.  I woke up this morning at 5:45 so that I could get ready, gather my learning things and my eating things and get out the door in time to pick up a classmate from her house at 7:00.  We drove the 45 min commute to Biddeford where we have classes twice a week during the summer, and discussed the different layers of the muscles of the arm.  From 8:00-10:00 we had an immunology lecture, from 10:00-11:30 we had neuro and from 11:30-1:00 we had gross anatomy lecture.  During my lunch hour I hid in a nearby empty classroom so that I wouldn't have to hear a single word come out of anyone's mouth unless I had invited it.  I talked briefly with JP only until the point where I knew if I elaborated more about my overwhelmed feelings I would most likely run the risk of bursting into tears that might not ever stop.  From 2:00-5:00 we had gross anatomy lab where we learned the bones, muscles, nerves and arteries of the anterior and posterior upper arm, anterior and posterior of the forearm, the wrist and the hand.  After cramming that incredible amount of information somewhere, a classmate and I spent from 5:00 until 7:00 going from cadaver to cadaver identifying each individual muscle, point of origin and insertion, the nerve that innervates it and the artery that supplies the blood to that muscle.  I got back to Portland at 8:00 and as a break stopped at whole foods where I had a surreal conversation with a friend who must have thought I was insane.  I think this might be my life now.  So much time and yet so very little time.  I have never in my life studied as much as I have and learned such a vast amount of things as I have in just this past week.  I can't even imagine what is to come.  The good news is that everything seems to be coming in waves for me, and after a morning where I was stuck in a wave of despair, I eventually arrived back home on a wave of satisfaction.  I know I can't possibly learn every single tiny detail, but right at this very moment I am totally doing alright and this itty bitty piece of string that I am clinging on to is enough for now.  Haaaaaa.   I know that was probably a random hodge podge of information, but I think that is all I will have the energy to put forth now.  I want to make sure that I have some sort of documentation of this crazy experience, but I barely have time to breathe!  In any case, I think I should give you a random piece of knowledge at the end of every post while I am in school because we are learning so many cool things!  First though, I think you should know that during after hours lab my classmate and I were searching for a good dissection of the forearm to look at and we were directed to a tupperware box that contained eight different arms.  Seriously.  I had to sift through them to find a suitable limb, and it was the weirdest thing that I think I have ever done, ever.  Ok, random knowledge for you:

Did you know that if you are allergic to kiwi you are more likely to be allergic to latex as well? Cause I didn't, and I think that's cool. 

oh. my. word.

Yaaaaaaaaa.  I have officially survived the first week of PA school, and even though that only included one actual day of classes I still think that that is at least marginally impressive.  Let's talk about what we learned this week.  A good deal of the time was filled with alternating messages of "you guys have already gotten so far, you are amazing!!" to "whooooaaaaa.  you will probably at least partially die within the next two years both physically and mentally, don't pat your backs too hard now!".  I think that I experienced every possible gradient of emotion on the first day alone, in which I felt filled with hope and equally filled with both terror and trepidation.  We learned a lot of the boring but necessary stuff about sexual harassment policies, HIPPA rules, managing stress, how to use the library, the student handbook, academic expectations, using AMA writing style.... you get the picture.  I'm glad that portion is over, but looking into next week is already pretty intimidating!  I made the mistake of opening the different syllabi for the myriad of classes we have this summer and my eyes almost popped out when I realized that we will probably have between 50-100 pages of textbook to read each day before each class, which will quickly multiply.  While I am not sure if that is physically possible, I am now mentally thanking my parents for their early encouragement of reading that led to my ability to read pretty quickly.   HA, those who laughed at us when we were having fast reading competitions as children with the Sevin family on vacations can laugh no more!  I will soon become an expert at scanning for relevant info and cramming it into my brain. 

Now it wasn't all administration stuff, we did some cool things too!  I saw my first (and second!) cadaver, and they were fascinating!  If it wasn't a class c felony to bring unauthorized individuals into the lab I would offer to bring you all with me.  Gross anatomy is going to be a very different experience than my last anatomy when we dissected cats and pigs, and I am excited to learn on actual bodies!  I have also started making some friends, and every one of my classmates seems great.  We have a slightly older class than many (average age is 27), and there are so many varying experiences that everyone brings with them.  I am excited to learn with a group of people from such diverse backgrounds.  As with probably most graduate level programs, it is really a great feeling to be surrounded by people who are interested in learning, and are so committed and dedicated.  In undergrad it was such a different group of people, and levels of effort were so varied.  In any case, week one is complete!  It is going to be a wild two years, but I am just going to try take it just one day at a time so I won't get overwhelmed by the entire thing.  Wish me luck!