white coats

We are knee deep in this semester by now, maybe even waist deep at this point with six exams behind us, and things are starting to heat up!  Just in school though, in life it is actually starting to cool down a lot and fall is in the air!! In any case, my attention span for things outside of school has gotten pretty short lately so I wanted to post some picture from my white coat ceremony before I forgot forever! 

My pops came into town for a long weekend at the beginning of September for a number of reasons, but come Monday afternoon chief among them was my white coat ceremony!  My school did an odd job of helping recognize us for our accomplishments, which was frustrating, and a lot of my classmates didn't have family come because the ceremony was at 4:30 on a Monday, so the presence of my own family meant that much more to me.  Emily came up from Vermont, Joe rushed back in to town from a gig, and JP even took the day off from work!  It was such a great feeling to have some of the people I love the most in the audience supporting me.  JP always tells me that I don't give myself enough credit for the things I have accomplished, so I really tried to take that evening as a time to recognize for myself all that I had done.  It was a long and extremely hard struggle to get to that point, and even though I know I am not even close to being done, putting on my white coat was such an honor and really helped to remind me what I am doing this for, and why I am right here in Portland right now.  I am just so grateful for all the support I have gotten from so many people in so many different ways! 

My dad brought his first white coat from Wake Forest as a surprise, and we proudly wore them to dinner together!  Having my dad at the ceremony was such an incredibly special gift for me.  It's hard to put into eloquent words how his fight with cancer has touched me, but to be able to share such a special moment with him, a moment that he shared with us when we were younger and he was in school, was just so moving for me.  My struggles and triumphs with PA school have brought our relationship to a different level somehow, and I am so grateful to have this time to experience this part of my life with him.  I am so, so fortunate.  If only my mom and Micah could have made it, the night would have been complete!  Although... since the ceremony was completely solemn and formal until they called my name to cross the stage and a small crowd loudly called out BOOOOOP! (in the Walsh/Buboltz tradition of embarrassing the graduate) I'm not sure adding two more voices would have helped the situation!

week three

Describing PA school to people who have never done it is a very hard thing to do.  I think that I thought I knew what it would be like, and that that is probably similar to how people think it is for me.  What I mean to say is that when I was applying and researching schools and reading blogs and forums about every little detail of the process, I gathered that PA school would be hard.  Of course it would be, it is a bunch of information and it's presented in a short amount of time.  When I thought about condensing four years of medical school into two years it sounded like every minute would be jam packed with a crazy amount of information and requirements.  Thinking about it in theory though is far different then how it actually feels.  I suppose that is true for many things, but maybe what I mean is that probably you can't ever be as prepared as you should be for something like this because it is not possible to understand unless you are already doing it.  Am I making sense?  The reason I bring this up is because I was trying to describe to my sister how school has been going for me, and here is what came spewing from my mouth. 

Take immunology for example.  This entire course is presented to us in five 2-hour lectures.  All of it.  All of the immunology that I have never seen but will be required to have a very detailed understanding of.  I think if this was all that was going on, it would still be difficult but passing would be probably be attainable.  Unfortunately that is not the case.  For virology, (which we are also in the middle of) we get three 2-hour lectures and one 1-hour lecture for the entire subject.  All of it.  This also applies to cell physiology, bacteriology/mycology and parasitology.  Yiiiikes!  For each of these we have one exam which is worth 20% of our biological sciences grade.  Holy effing Moly.  But, you know what?  I think for that exact reason you can only take it one day at a time.  Is it kind of sad that I look forward to the weekend immensely because during that time I will have 48 whole hours worth of potential studying time that will not be interrupted by the presentation of any new information?  Yes, but I am moving forward one day at a time and that's pretty good for right now.

Last week I was really overwhelmed after taking my first exams (Neuro/Anatomy/Anatomy practical) which by the way I did pass (WOOOOHOOOO!.....ahem), and JP said to me "well, when you finished your first week of bike & build how did you feel?"  When I thought about it, I realized that I felt very similar to how I am feeling now.  I was overwhelmed, exhausted, physically and emotionally spent, full of doubt in myself and my ability to actually see this thing to the end.  It was a new experience and it was really, really, really, HARD.  Every morning I woke up early, got back on that bike and biked.  I'm not saying I didn't complain or cry or feel like giving up, because I did all of those things, sometimes within the span of just an hour, but I never gave up.  So much of this experience reminds me of bike & build which seems amazing because in so many ways they are completely different.  It gives me a tremendous feeling of gratitude for that group of people and that experience, and for the group I am with right now.  Life is pretty great, isn't it?

oh. my. word.

Yaaaaaaaaa.  I have officially survived the first week of PA school, and even though that only included one actual day of classes I still think that that is at least marginally impressive.  Let's talk about what we learned this week.  A good deal of the time was filled with alternating messages of "you guys have already gotten so far, you are amazing!!" to "whooooaaaaa.  you will probably at least partially die within the next two years both physically and mentally, don't pat your backs too hard now!".  I think that I experienced every possible gradient of emotion on the first day alone, in which I felt filled with hope and equally filled with both terror and trepidation.  We learned a lot of the boring but necessary stuff about sexual harassment policies, HIPPA rules, managing stress, how to use the library, the student handbook, academic expectations, using AMA writing style.... you get the picture.  I'm glad that portion is over, but looking into next week is already pretty intimidating!  I made the mistake of opening the different syllabi for the myriad of classes we have this summer and my eyes almost popped out when I realized that we will probably have between 50-100 pages of textbook to read each day before each class, which will quickly multiply.  While I am not sure if that is physically possible, I am now mentally thanking my parents for their early encouragement of reading that led to my ability to read pretty quickly.   HA, those who laughed at us when we were having fast reading competitions as children with the Sevin family on vacations can laugh no more!  I will soon become an expert at scanning for relevant info and cramming it into my brain. 

Now it wasn't all administration stuff, we did some cool things too!  I saw my first (and second!) cadaver, and they were fascinating!  If it wasn't a class c felony to bring unauthorized individuals into the lab I would offer to bring you all with me.  Gross anatomy is going to be a very different experience than my last anatomy when we dissected cats and pigs, and I am excited to learn on actual bodies!  I have also started making some friends, and every one of my classmates seems great.  We have a slightly older class than many (average age is 27), and there are so many varying experiences that everyone brings with them.  I am excited to learn with a group of people from such diverse backgrounds.  As with probably most graduate level programs, it is really a great feeling to be surrounded by people who are interested in learning, and are so committed and dedicated.  In undergrad it was such a different group of people, and levels of effort were so varied.  In any case, week one is complete!  It is going to be a wild two years, but I am just going to try take it just one day at a time so I won't get overwhelmed by the entire thing.  Wish me luck!

closer and closer

Well, time has dwindled down and there is only ONE more day until I start PA school.  Holy Moly.  I have been dreaming of this day for a very, very long time and it has finally arrived!  We have two days of orientation and then two days of classes, so at least we will ease in slowly.  I say that now, but come next weekend I am sure I will already be knee deep in studying and preparation.  Luckily I have two dear Bike & Build friends coming for a quick visit, so I've got some fun to look forward to!  I really do feel as ready as I think I ever will be.  To prepare I have been:

1. Reviewing medical terminology, woo hoo?
2. Spending as much time as possible with my sister, who is moving on Tuesday during my first day of orientation!  We have been meeting for coffee, happy hour, scooter rides, goodwill trips, runs on MackWorth Island, and general sisterly times.  It has been AMAZING to live in the same city as her, and though I am super bummed it will be coming to an end all too soon, I am super excited for the gigantic graduation party we will co-host two years from now when we both finish grad school.  Get your party hats ready, it will be here before you know it!!
3. Finishing up the stray books I have been reading.  I know I won't have time to read them during school, and I probably won't remember a single thing about them once school is over, so it is now crunch time to finish my leisure reads!
4. Cooking with my siblings on the rare occasion we are all in town at the same time.  Mmmm we can really whip up some tasty food, and we take those opportunities as often as possible.  Last week we made a variation on shrimp gumbo and grits with cornbread, this morning we had a sort of huevos rancheros breakfast pile of tastiness and tonight I think we may grill in what just might be my first time ever grilling with my brother.  It's a good life!
5. I think that's about all that I have been doing aside from endless car stuff, boring old preparation stuff, and going to the gym.  All of which sucks up time but isn't exciting to do let alone hear about. 

So that's about it.  Tomorrow will come, and hopefully starting will help to relieve my anxiety in a way.  I'll let you know how week one goes, and feel free to direct all your positive energy my way!

building up

 After biting the bullet and signing on for $65,000 worth of student loans (!), I've been ordering some of my books.  I got all of them used and most for a substantially lower price than what they retail for so I'm feeling pretty good!  Not when I think about the price, so I am just not thinking about it right now!  Six of them came in the mail today and I took the opportunity to start organizing my desk.  It's actually more of a table that could probably seat five or six and less of a desk, but to me it's the perfect size.  I am a spreader when it comes to studying, and after spending last semester overtaking the kitchen table, I knew that I would need something spacious.  Luckily our apartment is much larger than our last place, and both of our "desks" fit comfortably in our office with room to spare.

 

Getting things set up on my desk and paging through my new books is making me excited for all the things I am going to learn in the near future.  JP thinks I'm a little weird because even though I have spent most of my life in school, I still get nerdily excited for learning.  It's true!  Which is probably a great thing because in the medical field you have to commit to being basically a forever student, and loving to learn seems like an excellent prerequisite. 

 

Adding to the list of my nerdery, is this cool copy of Gray's Anatomy that I found at the thrift store for only 89 cents!  I know I will have anatomy coming out of my ears soon, but I couldn't resist buying this.  It has 780 illustrations!

And last but not least is what I am currently studying.  We have a medical terminology test the first week of class and I am not about to risk failing my first exam!  I kept my textbook for just such a reason, and I had forgotten that there are flashcards in the back and an interactive cd!  Woot!  Flashcards are my best friends, and I am going to take them to the park with me right now.