Describing PA school to people who have never done it is a very hard thing to do. I think that I thought I knew what it would be like, and that that is probably similar to how people think it is for me. What I mean to say is that when I was applying and researching schools and reading blogs and forums about every little detail of the process, I gathered that PA school would be hard. Of course it would be, it is a bunch of information and it's presented in a short amount of time. When I thought about condensing four years of medical school into two years it sounded like every minute would be jam packed with a crazy amount of information and requirements. Thinking about it in theory though is far different then how it actually feels. I suppose that is true for many things, but maybe what I mean is that probably you can't ever be as prepared as you should be for something like this because it is not possible to understand unless you are already doing it. Am I making sense? The reason I bring this up is because I was trying to describe to my sister how school has been going for me, and here is what came spewing from my mouth.
Take immunology for example. This entire course is presented to us in five 2-hour lectures. All of it. All of the immunology that I have never seen but will be required to have a very detailed understanding of. I think if this was all that was going on, it would still be difficult but passing would be probably be attainable. Unfortunately that is not the case. For virology, (which we are also in the middle of) we get three 2-hour lectures and one 1-hour lecture for the entire subject. All of it. This also applies to cell physiology, bacteriology/mycology and parasitology. Yiiiikes! For each of these we have one exam which is worth 20% of our biological sciences grade. Holy effing Moly. But, you know what? I think for that exact reason you can only take it one day at a time. Is it kind of sad that I look forward to the weekend immensely because during that time I will have 48 whole hours worth of potential studying time that will not be interrupted by the presentation of any new information? Yes, but I am moving forward one day at a time and that's pretty good for right now.
Last week I was really overwhelmed after taking my first exams (Neuro/Anatomy/Anatomy practical) which by the way I did pass (WOOOOHOOOO!.....ahem), and JP said to me "well, when you finished your first week of bike & build how did you feel?" When I thought about it, I realized that I felt very similar to how I am feeling now. I was overwhelmed, exhausted, physically and emotionally spent, full of doubt in myself and my ability to actually see this thing to the end. It was a new experience and it was really, really, really, HARD. Every morning I woke up early, got back on that bike and biked. I'm not saying I didn't complain or cry or feel like giving up, because I did all of those things, sometimes within the span of just an hour, but I never gave up. So much of this experience reminds me of bike & build which seems amazing because in so many ways they are completely different. It gives me a tremendous feeling of gratitude for that group of people and that experience, and for the group I am with right now. Life is pretty great, isn't it?
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