Polar Bear 5K

We are moving on through winter pretty quickly over here!  I am happy to share that I have been diligent in my anti-winter-depression schemes, and things have been going great!  Perhaps all I needed was a good detail oriented plan...per usual.  In any case, I have been using my light box every morning to start my day, taking fish oil and vitamin D, exercising, and getting outside as much as possible.  Of course outdoor activities are all but impossible to squeeze in on my long work days that start and end in darkness, but my days off have been purposeful for the most part.  On days I work, Felicity and I have been pretty good about making it to a 5AM trampoline class most Mondays to get a jump on the week.  As completely miserable as that probably sounds, I can't tell you how invigorating it is (once you have succeeded in rolling yourself out of your toasty bed cocoon of course).  Luckily, not all days start like that, and getting outdoors has been integral to my sanity!

Though the snow had been manageable so far this year, hellooooo $100 electric snowblower my new love, it has been predictably frigid.  Felicity and I have been forcing, and cajoling, ourselves out of the house to move our bodies even when the temperatures are in the single digits and much lower with the wind chill.  We have continued to run, and are planning on our first 10K this spring.  In that vein, we ran our first Polar Bear Dash 5K in 5 degree weather around the back cove to the eastern prom!  Though our feet were pretty icy, and the path was mighty slippery, we did it! (and yes that is my dad's monkey hat on my head that he so graciously let me borrow)

It turns out that at the end of the race we felt like, hell, we can do anything! And so we keep trying to push each other, walking with Oboe at the river, snowshoeing up north, and checking out new classes.  Movement has seemed to be one of the most important keys to this season for me. I'm lucky to have a friend who is as crazy as me!

where have we gone

As we move back into another winter here in New England, I am trying to be proactive to ward off those winter blues that can quietly settle in in the corners of your mind and weigh everything down.  Mentally I try to prepare every fall, but this fall I am moving more from prep to action.  So, what am I doing?

1. Exercise!  Tried and true method for calm within the insanity (never more true for me than in 2017, the year that just keeps...being 2017).  I always go in with the best intentions, but this year I have been pushing myself through the end of summer and into fall to get outside three times a week.  I have been running and am gaining speed and strength which is huge for me.  My lungs usually fail me and my brain can always needle away at me until I just give up and walk, but not so lately. Must be a combination of good motivating friends and family, and internal terror at how anxious/grouchy/lazy I easily become when I stop moving my body for any length of time.  Luckily for me one of my best friends lives 2 blocks away from me and she is always game for pre work classes (5:15 spin before clinic anyone?), and runs at the exact same pace as me so our workouts double as catch up time where we can vent and encourage each other, which is also one of those essential mental health balance things.

2. Vitamin D! JP and I always start vitamin D supplements in the fall to help compensate for the abysmal lack of sunshine here in New England.  Lack of sun is a huge factor for my southern born husband, even more than the bitter cold temperatures and that's saying something!  This year we are stepping up our game in this department as well and have finally invested in a Light Box to get our light therapy on.  I used a similar light when I lived in Minneapolis with roommates, and have been meaning to get one almost every year we've been here but somehow it always slipped to the bottom of my priorities and I never actually bought one.  Never fear, we've had our  new light set up for about a week now, and have both been using it for about 30 minutes first thing in the morning to help keep our circadian rhythms on pace throughout the winter.  Hopefully it helps!

3. Gratitude! I have been diligently working on writing down three things that I am grateful for from the day and why these things make me feel grateful.  There is some evidence to show that this simple act can help reframe your outlook to keep you happier.  I know it certainly won't hurt, and since I have been focusing on journaling again, it is a great way to jump start the writing process.  Reflection on my day to day life, and taking time to appreciate the pieces has already been helpful for me.  I can easily slide into frustration over small things at work, or anger about everything happening in the world today, but a small tilt in perspective helps me to try to stay positive and moving forward doing what I can to affect change.

4. Crafts!  I haven't been very craft minded for quite some time.  Stuck in the slog of work and changing jobs and even just trying to remember to eat something for every meal has really just taken my focus away from nurturing my creativity lately.  I know making things stimulates my brain in a very different way than practicing medicine does, and so I have been pushing myself to get back to that before the snow drops.  First step has been knitting, a good place to start because it gives me something to do with my hands while listening to podcasts or watching a movie.  Some day soon I will set to work on some Christmas presents, and decoration for our home.

So, that's it.  You may have guessed that blogging is helpful to me too, and something that is so easy to have drop off the list of priorities.  But, you know, you can only start by starting.

London, England

Traveling is exciting, and fun, and often filled with mishaps that can blossom into crazy amazing unforgettable experiences.  But let's be real, traveling is also kiiinda stressful isn't it? There are lots of unknown variables (which is a problem if you are Type A), and living out of a backpack, or coordinating time tables and navigating conversations in languages you don't know can actually be pretty stress inducing.  One of my very best friends sent me a book right before we left, one that she treasured reading while doing a similar trip in Europe last year.  Inside the cover was a note to me, which ended with one huge piece of advice: ROLL WITH IT.  Do you think she knows me well? Ha. Well I took her message to heart.  I hate feeling stressed out and anxious, especially when traveling.  So I put her advice in my heart, and resolved to remember it when things got tense, I promised myself I would say "this situation might be _______, BUT, WE ARE IN EUROPE".  A little reality check is almost always a good thing, especially if it serves to remind you that you are on a trip of a lifetime with your best friend.  

So, why lead with that?  Well... our trip accidentally started out pretty stressful.  JP wanted to get to the bus station well in advance so that we wouldn't have to rush around like crazy chickens.  But as you may well have experienced, sometimes it's really hard to get out the door at the right time, especially when you are leaving for such a long international trip and you've got puppy children to coordinate.  Anyway, we made it to the bus station with a reasonable amount of time to spare. But then I realized I had left my ID and all my credit and bank cards on the table. At home. AHH.  Sprint Ubered it back to the homestead, full out ran, and sprint ubered back.  I literally jumped on the bus as they were closing the door.  JP was just standing there shaking his head at me.  But, we made it!

Still not psyched...

Anyway, first crisis out of the way, just makes room for more adventure, right?  First stop: London! We chose London for a few reasons, one of which was to have a slower acclimation into the trip in a land where they speak English.  JP, understandably, was nervous about traveling in places where we had only mastered the words Hello, Goodbye, and Thank you, and he wanted to ease into it.  I am less wary of that because my sister Emily and I have traveled together often, and quickly realized that we have amazingly weird abilities to communicate in foreign lands with our hands, body language and facial expressions almost exclusively... so mostly I just try to heed Renae's advice and I roll with it. 

We did a pretty darn good job of packing lightly if I do say so myself. Everything for me fit in the green bag (30L) with room to spare!

In Hyde Park, directly off the tube from the plane

We also chose London because (nerd alert), the Harry Potter studios are just outside the city, and I really wanted to see them. Side note, have I told you about our trip to Universal Studios Wizarding World of Harry Potter yet? I know, I'm really behind, BUT eventually I will have to share that magical (har har) trip with you here as well.

See the "Death Eater" bridge in the photo above? 

Last but not least, we wanted to come visit our friend Ben who lives in this fair city.  A good friend of my brother Joe, Ben is a very talented musician, who actually recently did a Europe tour with Joe and their friend Grant!  It always helps to have an insider's perspective and guide when traveling and we thought we should tap into that resource as well!

We had a really excellent time in London.  We had an overnight flight, and landed around 9:00 AM, bravely facing a day fighting off the wonky aspects of jet lag.  When we emerged from customs and took a deep breath, we realized the adventure had begun! And then immediately realized we didn't know how to get out of the airport.  We found a helpful person wearing a sandwich board who directed us to our two exiting options, and we were on our way.

My cousin Eileen and her new husband Rodney had just gotten back from their European honeymoon tour, and they sent us their Oyster Cards, which is the card you need to ride the tube in London, so we were already armed with access.  I always think I have a terrible sense of direction, but I realized on this trip that that is not true.  If you approach a new transportation system with confidence, (and ample time, and strategically predownloaded map apps), I learned that I can figure out most anything. 

We stayed in Shoreditch, a hispter neighborhood just outside of the thick of things.  Just outside our apartment was an artisan chocolate shop, multiple thrift stores, and a restaurant called the Cereal Killer Cafe, which served only cereal.  There was so much life and fun in that neighborhood! We spent a few days just wandering and people watching.

But I tell you what, something that I was not expecting at all?  The graffiti was phenomenal.  Not just the art itself, but also the public support of it.  It wasn't like a sneaky dead of night enterprise, it was pretty celebrated.  I could not stop taking pictures, and JP pulled me out of the way of people (and bikes) on more than one gawking occasion.  But seriously, there was some magnificent pieces.

And after all that, I didn't even tell you about the Harry Potter studio tour.  But that's because I was a bit disappointed in it.  Which was probably a three part issue: 1. It took us waaaay longer to get there then we anticipated because we didn't realize there was an express train and we took the pokey local 2. We subsequently arrived later than our ticket entrance time AND we hadn't eaten in way too long 3. When we went to universal studios I felt like I WAS Harry Potter, and this just felt like I was looking at ten different jackets that Daniel Radcliffe once wore... you know what I mean? It just wasn't very magical.  There, I said it. But also, the hangry issue was probably the biggest driving factor.

So, there you have it.  Our first stop: London.  It was a really cool city, one that I could actually see myself living in, which was a pretty big surprise for me as I tend to walk away from huge cities with the opposite impression.  Lots of cool things happening, it felt open and spacious, the people were nice, and there was so much to see!  But man was it pricey!

dream vacation

When we first got engaged, one of the things we immediately knew we wanted was to back pack in Europe for our honeymoon, something we had always dreamed of.  We didn't think we were the type of people to do a pre paid beach package vacation.  I mean, we had never done one before, so why start now?

Well, then wedding planning reality set it, in the form of a million billion decisions to make and plans to devise, and all sorts of other little micro manag-y things that I probably didn't need to think about but my brain wouldn't let me not.  As our big day approached, it was pretty clear that an epic European adventure honeymoon would stretch ourselves waaaaay too far.  I am just too much of an over researcher to be able to have planned both things at once, and since I struggled quite a bit with the wedding, I knew I needed to focus all my planning abilities on that event.

So, in between dress fittings, and food truck tastings,

between flower purchasing, and mason jar gatherings,

bunting sewing, and craft projecting,

we found and booked a pre packaged, pre paid, pre everything you can think of vacation to Mexico.  Our requirements were pretty simple: beach, relatively inexpensive, beautiful location.

So that's what we did, and to be perfectly honest I do not regret it one single bit.  It was what we needed after the huge whirlwind of family and friends and celebration and emotional upheaval.  It was a vacation like we had never had before, we lounged on the beach at whatever hour we happened to wake up, we drank floofy drinks with umbrellas, we sat in cabanas, had a hot tub on our private balcony.  It was pretty ridiculous, but so relaxing, and rejuvenating.

That's not to say there weren't draw backs.  When we travel we usually rent a local apartment or house, or stay right in the thick of the locale, and it was very strange to be in a resort compound with almost no interaction with any locals.  And as a GF person, I have to say most of the food was atrocious.   Like, really not good at all, but that's what happens when you have huge buffet lines for people set up at all hours of the day.  So everything was certainly not perfect by any means, and I don't know that we would ever do that type of vacation again, BUT for what we needed at the time it was perfect for us.

So, was there a point to all of this? Didn't you go on your honeymoon over a year ago?! Well....yes, and no. Here's the point.  We wanted a European backpacking adventure, realistically it just wasn't in the cards for us at that point, but we didn't give up on the idea entirely.  On our honeymoon we jokingly called it our "first honeymoon", with every intention to some day go on our "real honeymoon" in Europe.  And so we did.

Let me back up.  Remember when I quit my job recently?  Well when I was interviewing, and nail chewing, and anxiously awaiting an offer, I said to JP "hey, how about we go to Europe if I get this job?  I could just take time off in between!".  And as ridiculous as that sounds, that's actually kind of how it happened.  Things started falling into place with my new job, and when they asked me to start at the end of September I asked for an extension until the beginning of October.  Two of our close friends had just done a similar thing when she switched from the trauma team at one hospital to critical care team at another hospital. They gapped it and went to Europe for three weeks.  We decided it was now or never.  When would we have another opportunity like this? We don't have kids, or a mortgage, or huge responsibilities that can't be left for a little while, so we just did it.

And it was AMAZING.  And I am going to tell you all about it in the next few weeks, so hold on to your hats!

and life swept on

I'm not even really sure where to start.  I've been so absent here that thinking of writing again makes me feel like I am decades late for an assignment and I just want to close the book and pretend it doesn't exist.  I've done so many things since I last wrote here, tiny miniscule things, and great big adventures.  My work life changed dramatically, and I am about to fully realize that change next tomorrow.  I took time off to travel, and explore, and celebrate a year of marriage to my sweetheart.  I enjoyed summer, and visits from family and friends. It's all the things and I don't know where to start.

So let's start with the basics, what do you do for a living?  After struggling with the decision for quite sometime, and chasing down many different paths, I gave my job my two months notice. (Side note, two months?! Apparently that's standard in my industry...doesn't that seem like forever? A very long, awkward, drawn out, forever?)  I am leaving family medicine and moving to an urgent care associated with the big hospital network in my area. It's a good change in many ways, though scary, and seemingly momentous for me.  I don't particularly like change, because it takes away my control, but I think it's good to let go of that a little especially when you find that a big part of not wanting to change is just fear of the unknown. I don't want to be a person who makes choices based on fear.

Leaving family medicine was hard. I think I was finally getting it. Not the medicine, for better or worse I think I've hit some small kind of stride in that regard, but the actual field itself.  Family medicine.  It's hard because it encompasses everything, it's difficult to get new grads into because there are so many other specialties that have more prestige or more money or more something else.  But I was starting to understand some of why my dad loves this field.  I was reaching the continuity part where I had been seeing my patients for over a year, and the visits were actually more like 'check ins' instead of frantic 'trying to learn your whole medical history' visits.  I could picture faces to names now, and could tease some people when I knew I was telling them something they weren't happy to hear, because I knew they personally would appreciate it. I found family medicine difficult for many reasons, most of them bureaucratic, and too exhausting to get into.

But, I won't have to restlessly and wildly speculate for much longer as I start on Monday.  And since I've had a month off to wipe the slate clean, and find some of my old self again, I should most definitely be ready.  Right? Right.

Anyway, I'm hoping to bring writing back into my life. Writing and picture sharing.  Here's hoping I can do it.

Bar Harbor, ME

One big thing I regret about my time in Colorado is that I was always so busy with the mundane everyday obligations of school and work and studying and blahhh that I never really got to explore as much of Colorado as I should have. I mean seriously people, I never even went skiing the entire time I was there! Sheesh. So, I am putting in an effort to make sure I am taking in all that Maine has to offer, which is really quite a lot!

A few weeks ago JP and I went up to Bar Harbor for a weekend in a cabin with Joe and Emma.  We had never been up there, and really wanted to take in some of Acadia National Park.  What a trove of natural beauty and wilderness!

We went on a gloriously foggy hike on the coast, taking in the beach and a little mountainous parts as well. We climbed down on the rocks and skipped stones, created obstacles for each other, and had contests to knock down rock structures we built specifically for knocking down purposes. It was a little chilly, but absolutely beautiful, and we ran into only a few other people during the whole hike. Oboe climbed like a champ!

The next day was sunny and hot, we found a few more trails to explore and Joe supplied us with facts and interesting tid bits about places around the area as he built trails up there when he was in Americorps.

As with any family trip, the food often takes center stage, and this trip was no different. We made a glorious pile of lobster nachos that we almost couldn't even finish the first night.  And then we found the perfect local restaurant with a huge gluten free menu and we warmed ourselves up with individualized mac and cheese's and blueberry margaritas.  We found a bar with a shuffle board and spent quite a long time there in competition, ending with a few rousing rounds of air hockey to end it all.

 It was so nice to escape from Portland for a little while, get some much needed relaxation and perspective.  It's always good for me to remind myself of the world around me.  I have a tendency to tunnel vision my focus over time and I need a shake up every once in awhile.

Don't these pictures make you want to come to Maine?!

crawfish for the birthday boy!

JP recently had a birthday, and by recently I mean almost a month ago, and this is how up to date I am on blogging...shhhh I haven't written since February.  Well, that's not technically true, as I have like five unfinished posts sitting as drafts, but I've been in a writing and creativity rut lately and I can't seem to get anything out there!  But, I really love to write, so I am going to work on that in the next few months.

So, to get back into the swing of things, I am just going to do it by doing it.

For JP's 29th birthday he sweetly requested no surprise parties. Last year after work I had a crew of friends and family waiting for him at one of our favorite restaurants to celebrate with delicious cocktails.  While he did love this, I sometimes forget that he is really much more introverted and is more then content to spend his birthday at home with just me and the pups. Which is exactly what we did for his actual birthday this year. We slept in, went out for brunch, walked the dogs, went to a bookstore and made delicious food together, completely relaxed and laid back.

BUT, of course that's not all we did, because this year for his present I wanted to bring him a taste from his Louisiana home, I know he misses all the southern food from there, but most particularly he misses crawfish.  So I arranged for 20lbs of live crawfish to be delivered to our house that Saturday, and we had a really small gathering the following afternoon.  JP and his childhood friend Nick were happily up to the task of keeping them alive in the interim, and they faithfully took the package outside every few hours and hosed them down in the yard. 

 Success! Almost every one survived!

We borrowed a turkey fryer from Dr C and fired it up with corn and potatoes before whipping up two batches of crawfish.  It was so much fun to bring a little piece of Louisiana up to Maine.  I think everyone enjoyed them, at least they enjoyed the novelty of it all! We rounded the occasion off with Abita beer, zapp's potato chips and bread flown in from Louisiana too.  And of course lots of dirt cake, JP's favorite.

So there you have it. Another year come and gone, but I think he's gonna like 29!