morning coffee

I’m doing something today that I just realized I haven’t done in a loooong while: sitting and drinking a fresh cup of coffee.  That’s it.  I mean, I’m not running to the car spilling half of it on my hand, or refilling in between lectures, I’m just sitting at my kitchen table thinking and drinking.  It’s funny how busy life becomes.  I spend every other weekend on campus for the bulk of both Saturday and Sunday while I prep for exams, and the ones in between I always have stuff to type for the next module, or pages upon pages of textbook to read, so I spend most of those sitting at either my desk or the table with breaks for errands and dog walks.  We are in a weird limbo time in school right now, and thus I have time to sleep in a little, and have a relaxing cup of coffee.  We finished a big section on Monday (really, they are kind of arbitrary and not really sections at all, it’s more just the title of the class, BUT technically we finished a class) and for the first time that I can even remember since starting way back in May, we have a month until our next exams!  To be honest, it’s really just a weird coincidence I think because spring break falls in the middle, and we are mashing two modules together in a muddled up pile (I’m sure you can guess how much I love when things aren’t in their separate little boxes!),  but whatever the reason, it is a really, really nice little breather.  I think I always underestimate the pressure of looming exams and deadlines.  I talk to my mom early on Saturday mornings when I am driving to campus to study and she always says “Where did you get your discipline, cause I know it isn’t from me!”, and I tell her that fear is quite a powerful motivator!  I’m joking, but it’s true, and I think that is one of the things that is difficult about being a PA student.  There is a big balancing act that goes on all the time between learning  as much as you can for  the long term, but also knowing that you need to tailor a lot of that towards passing a particular exam.  It’s pretty devastating to feel confident in the material, and knowledgeable enough that you aren’t terrified at the thought of seeing actual patients with the diseases you just studied, but then fail the exam because it focused a lot on tiny aspects that you had minimized when you were triaging information.  Luckily, that doesn’t happen often, and all that is to say that it is quite freeing to have some time to just learn and read without a close exam to make you push yourself too hard!  Which brings me to spring break.  In less than two weeks we are going to New Orleans to visit JP’s family and soak up some warmer weather and sun!  I am really excited to hang out with family and friends, eat amazing Cajun food and RELAX!  It is perfectly timed to correlate with maximum burn out from school, and I think it will be rejuvenating.  Nothing better than a pause to see just how close you are to the next big step, and to gather energy for a last big push!  Unfortunately I feel like I am in a free for all slide to the end and my mind wanders to mid May and day dreaming about our ten day break before clinicals start.  But, one day at a time.  When May 20^th finally rolls around, I know I am going to be shaking in my business casual shoes, wishing I could just go sit anonymously in the back of a classroom instead of being in front of real people in my short white coat.   Such is life!