runaway april

Yet again time has been slipping away from me!  I knew April was going to be a rough month in terms of school, but man did it creep, fly and creep on by.  I just finished my second patient simulation OSCE examination this morning, an experience that is very anxiety producing and a bit awkward, uncomfortable and funny at times.  I was thinking about my first one back in the fall, the difference was crazy.  I felt so much more prepared this time, and I even prepped less!  It's starting to feel like some of my knowledge base is gelling together finally.  Finally! Not all the time, and not even consistently within a day, or an hour, or a minute, but sometimes there is a real glimmer of smartness in there and it makes me feel like I may be able to do this! I feel more confident at thinking on my feet when I'm in an unfamiliar patient scenario, and am getting better at trusting that I know how to do a history and physical exam on a patient.  Even if I don't get the exact diagnosis or am waiting for labs or imaging to be done, I am at a place where if I can take a minute to collect my thoughts and look at all the information I've gathered and written down, I know that the diagnosis is there, and I can piece together reasonable differentials and rule out some big things.  That may not sound like a lot, but it's no small feat in this world!  Last month I was despairing a bit because I felt like everything I was learning was dumping out the other side of my brain, I was super stressed out and getting lost in lectures of things I'd already learned, even circled back around to randomly crying in the grocery store again, but it feels a lot better now.  I've been working on stepping away from the books more often and seeing the people in my life.  Imagine that!  I've been back at the gym regularly, even upped my membership so I can do group fitness classes.  That way I don't even have to think, just follow and kickstep around.  It's made a huge difference in my energy and focus, and I'm sure it doesn't hurt that there is finally sun shine (and spare moments to enjoy it) back in my life again.  SUN SHINE! Oh how I missed you.  We are sliding into finish at this point, three weeks to go, some exams and papers and presentations, but it's getting close enough to touch!  And did I tell you that I'm taking JP to Jamaica for his birthday?! Sooooooo close! And, because no post feels final without at least one picture, here is a blurry one of my brother Joe and I showing some friends how to waltz.  It makes me happy.