Jamaica, in pictures

Our vacation in Jamaica was so incredibly relaxing and rejuvenating, all the things we desperately needed.  Even though I packed two textbooks, I shoved those guilty feelings of not studying waaaay way deep down and didn't even crack them until the flight home. 

It was absolutely amazing.  We did the type of a vacation my family never did when I was growing up.  Probably due in part to having four kids, and a lot in part due to the fact that in my family vacations mean adventure and exploring and camping and hiking and visiting relatives.  Don't get me wrong, I LOVED our family vacations, some of my favorite memories from my childhood are tied up in road trip to our grandparents farm and hiking in to a cabin in the woods for a few days, or just exploring new cities and towns, and I love going to new places and exploring new cultures, but now I know that I can also love a beach vacation with days full of unstructured time, swimming when you want to, reading a book for fun and taking a nap in the middle of the day just because you feel like it.  We went snorkeling every day!

It didn't matter what time it was, we just woke up when we wanted to, ate what we wanted to and did what we wanted to.  Such a different story then our real lives, and it was fantastic!  We stayed in a condo right across from one of the most beautiful beaches in Jamaica, we had a little grocery store on the bottom floor of the building, a swimming pool on the top floor, a place to play pool across the street, and somehow we managed to arrive just after tourist season ended so the whole place was practically just ours! 

We celebrated JP's 27th birthday, a number that he seems to think sounds incredibly old.  I of course have no pity for him, he always relishes in the fact that even if he is old, I will always be the oldest!  I made him a birthday sign, which has become tradition from last year and the year before and even the year before that! Sheesh!  The balloon was a joke, he hastily updated the balloon I made for his 26th birthday by putting an 8 on it for my most recent birthday...now it also has a 7 pasted on top!

On his actual birthday we went to Negril, which was about an hour down the coast, and checked out the famous seven mile beach. 

We also went to the local hot spot Rick's Cafe and saw clif jumpers and divers.  We even witnessed a couple in their wedding clothes jump off the 30 foot ledge.  It was quite a sight to see her wedding gown flowing up behind her!

And that was our vacation!  Of course I would be remiss if I didn't include the gorgeous sunsets we witnessed, which were so beautiful every single night!

                                    And now  back to reality!

continuing on

WOW.  Well year two is well under way, and it is a whole different game than didactic was.  In good, amazing, awesome ways and crazy, overwhelming, slightly terrifying ways as well.  I tried not to think too much about what clinicals would actually literally be like, and this is because of a variety of things.  Obviously I was busy right up until the last day of the semester, and spare brain space was a bit lacking at that point.  In Jamaica I actively suppressed any thoughts of the near future because when I did it made me feel physically ill, margaritas on the beach definitely aided the active suppression of scary thoughts, but that’s a whole other post! 

In any case, I had my first day last Tuesday, and most of my classmates started that Monday.  As you may imagine, I spent the better part of that Monday alternating between pacing my apartment, mindlessly flipping through textbooks at an impossible-to-read pace, wringing my hands and checking and rechecking my phone for news from classmates.  I talked with my friend Julia during her lunch break while she was hiding in her car eating and delivering her report of the day thus far while I tried to calm her nerves and reassure her that she would undoubtedly, or at least most probably, survive her first day in the emergency room relatively unscathed.  When Tuesday morning came I wasn’t actually as nervous as I thought I would be, I think I just needed to get the first day over with, because anything was better than the agony of my imagination.  

My first rotation is in Portsmouth, NH which is about (exactly) 51 minutes from my house.  I am doing my Internal Medicine rotation in the Intensive Care Unit (ICU).  My schedule is a bit insane, and adding my commute time makes it a bit more insane, but so far I have survived.  I work ten hour shifts rotating a little between day and night, so for day shift I get up at 5 in the morning to make it there for 7:00 rounds. 

The advice we were given from the class a year ahead of us was that on the first day, no matter how many dumb things come out of your mouth, or how many things you have never even heard of, just try to say one thing that is even marginally intelligent.  Gotta keep that bar high, eh!? I definitely bit my tongue the entire day to keep the illusion of intelligence at least somewhat existent, and my mind blanked out on basically everything I learned last year especially when I was being asked a question, but my one marginally intelligent thing was asking if they should do a bladder scan on a patient that had all but stopped producing urine and we were getting extremely concerned about her kidney function.  It turned out her foley was kinked, and after the scan it was adjusted, no need to worry about the kidneys at all! PHEW.  Marginal intelligence RESTORED.  

Now I’ve got a week and a half under my belt, and things are starting to get a little more familiar.  I had some delusions that this year would be less busy then last year, but so far it’s been just a busy if not more!  After my shift I have to log all my patients into this tracking system that my school uses to make sure we are seeing enough patients, doing enough and learning enough.  I know it will get easier with time, but right now it’s the slowest process in the world to try to figure out the ICD or CPT codes, and then recall what exactly we prescribed and what labs we ordered.  There are a million drop down menus and they are all kind of vague so it often takes me ten minutes just to find the section I am looking for.  Oh well, at least it is the same system for the entire year so soon I will master it and it won’t even feel like that much work.  Right? Right.  

So, that’s what I am up to lately.  Adjusting to working weird days and nights, standing and walking for ten hours instead of endless days of sitting and staring at powerpoints (thank god!), and figuring out the home dynamic as we move into this next phase of life.  Aside from all the moments of stupidity and overwhelming feelings, I already know that this year is going to be absolutely awesome.  It’s an incredible feeling to put the textbook down and actually see all the things I learned about!  I did a million physical exams on my classmates, all of whom are healthy, so it’s amazing to put my stethoscope to a patient and hear a murmur in their heart or crackles in their lungs.  Don't worry, I’m working on controlling my rubber face so that my eyes don't subconsciously open real big with my eyebrows raised all the way up and my mouth doesn't smile large when I hear something pathologic, which is probably not the best face to have just before I tell someone they have bilateral pneumonia. 

can you even believe it?!

Year one is DONE. DONE. DONE!  We had our last exams yesterday in surgery and while I was out with classmates having a celebratory and congratulatory lunch, grades were posted and just like that my didactic year was 100% officially completed!   I'm still in a bit of a daze, and I swear this morning when I woke up naturally at 8:30 instead of unnaturally early to an alarm blaring into my ear, I had a mini panic attack in my head about how late it was and how behind I must be!  Old habits die hard I suppose.  But for now: Sleep! Food! Drinks! Friends! 

I can't remember the last Saturday that I didn't go to campus and sit in a stuffy room cramming knowledge into my head until my eyeballs wanted to jump off my face and roll off the table into the garbage can.  Instead, this morning I took a long walk in the morning rain with three of my favorite beings and enjoyed a big cup of coffee at the kitchen table with my fiancee across from me and our pups at my feet.  Nothing like a grueling didactic year to remind you how important is it to appreciate the littlest things! 

As for the next step, we've got lots of exciting stuff crammed into my ten days of summer vacation, every day of which JP will also be on vacation, what a guy!  Tonight we are starting off with a combo early birthday celebration for the boy and end of year celebration for the me at a fancy restaurant here in Portland courtesy of my parents!  Then we leave early, early in a car bound for Portsmouth to a bus bound for Boston bound for an airplane bound for JAMAICA!!  It's going to be a tough week for us I am sure, staying in a condo with a balcony overlooking Doctor's Cave Beach, but somehow we will find a way to push through.  I've got pictures to share from the past few months, and lots to tell you about my near and approaching future, but for now I am going to go bask in the beauty of time away from the daily routine. 

Thank you, all of you, for the love, support, belief, phone calls, encouragement, wise words and moments of laughter and tears that surrounded me and lifted me up as I waded into and survived (!) one of the most difficult and rewarding years I've ever experienced.  I am truly blessed in so many ways to be exactly where I am right now.  Well... and also in Jamaica.

And Emily?  I've only got two textbooks and some handwritten notes packed...they are small I swear!